One Year Later.....Ember's Birth Story

Originally written 1/14/2020

Ember turned one year old yesterday! It was such a special day for her, for Jordan, and for me. As first time parents I think we are just so excited to have kept a happy healthy baby alive for a year!!! On a real note, it is a hell of an accomplishment. Becoming a parent is a big change. New values, new responsibilities, new routines, all overnight. It is such a rewarding challenge though. I know a lot of moms say being a parent is hard, I am not disagreeing, but it isn't the kind of hard that leaves you mentally and emotionally destroyed. It's difficult in the same way that training for Tough Mudder was, or studying for the Peregrine exam. It's a welcome challenge, and extremely rewarding.

Ember is the best gift Jordan and I have ever received, except for maybe meeting each other to get here in the first place! I was so ecstatic to celebrate her yesterday. She is pure joy, and as such, I wanted to document (Part 2 to my last post) my memory of her birth...the whole process that brought her into this world. I hope that one day she gets to read it and find motivation and happiness in this, much like I do when my mom tells me about my birth. A little bit of a Gilmore Girls moment here, the birthday ritual of the birth story, so it will be written as though I am speaking to her.

DAD OR CANNON. If you are reading this.....maybe dont? Idk. It just might be weird for you.

Ember Raen Elizondo - January 13, 2019
My last post I wrote about the anxiousness I felt while waiting for the arrival of “baby”. We had kept your gender a secret for birth to reveal. This made for weird conversations where I would still be calling you “it” or “baby”. Im sure it felt impersonal to those around me, but deep inside I felt the most incredible love for the tiny human I had yet to meet.

I had been so done waiting for your arrival, I just wanted to hold you and kiss you and see your face. About a week, maybe less, before your birthday I had fallen down the stairs while carrying some laundry. It was scary and I was nervous that I might have hurt you, but you were moving around just fine. I think the fall scared you too! Work suggested that I work from home until your delivery to just rest and relax. I made a few “induction” appointments, nothing in a hospital or using any chemicals (we had a pretty wonderful natural pregnancy and birth with no interventions) for a massage and acupuncture to try and get you out!! The day after I made those appointments me and your daddy were cuddled up on the couch watching “The Theory of Everything”, so sad and so romantic. It was a great movie. I got up to go to the bathroom and I noticed I had lost my mucus plug! Gross and fascinating and exciting.

Usually you have anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks after losing your “plug” to go into labor. Mine was just a few hours. I woke up several times between 1am and 4am that night having contractions. Both your daddy and I didn’t take them too seriously since I had false labor for over 3 weeks leading up to that. Contractions were my new normal. Then these ones started to get more and more intense. By 8am I knew for sure I was in labor. I kept trying to wake your dad up (but by now Im sure you know he is a grumpy sleeper and doesn’t like to be woken up) and he was not having it. He thought I was joking about being in labor. I let him know it wasn’t a joke and he was going to be a daddy today. He leaped out of bed and made us some coffee.

Now we knew that labor would be a long journey and we weren’t going to be rushing off to the birth center anytime soon. So we snuggled up, ordered some food, and watched movies and funny shows together. I tried to get some homework done, but it was impossible to stay focused when I was interrupted every 10 minutes or less with a contraction. Each grew longer and stronger. They were pretty close apart early on and timing my contractions was a waste of time and just frustrated me and your dad. Things felt pretty serious and my instincts were telling me that I needed to get seen by the midwife. So we packed up the car and drove down to the birth center. Car rides are the worst when you are in labor!! Contractions had made me feel like I needed to get onto all fours, and that was kind of impossible to do strapped into the front seat for a 45 minute drive.

We arrived at the birth center and went to the beautiful orange room that we had chosen to deliver you in. Essential oils were diffusing in the room and the lights were dimmed. We had the secondary midwife on call fo your birth, but the main midwife was in the office. It was so comforting to see both of the midwives and hear their words of encouragement. The midwife checked my dilation and said we likely had a few more hours to go before you made an appearance, and recommended I take a warm bath and drink a glass of wine. So we went back home to labor away.

Around 9pm I had had enough. I was asking your dad to take me to a hospital and get an epidural. I just felt so tired. Labor is uncomfortable, but not searingly painful. I just wanted it to be over with so I could sleep. He reminded me that we had prepared and manifested a beautiful healthy natural birth surrounded by comfort instead of the sterile environment that the hospital offers. So we loaded up your dads jeep and went to the birth center again, texting the midwife and the birth photographer to let them know we were on our way!

When we pulled up I think I had about three contractions before getting to the door! Our midwife was patiently waiting and offering a comforting presence. She guided us to the birthing room and I could hear the bathtub filling with water, and it brought me to tears. I immediately undressed and hopped in! The birth workers were totally right, a deep warm bath is really natures epidural. our birth photographer arrived so quitely and sweetly. Said hello to your daddy, myself, Brianna (RN/Doula), and Chance (midwife). Immediately, before unpacking her camera and getting to work she asked me what I needed, water, honey, snacks, anything. Honey sounded like a dream, and ended up being such a pick me up! A little burst of sweet energy to bring me back. I labored in the tub for an hour or so before my body started telling me it was time to push.

A lot of women (at this time) have stories and movies force into our brains that it is the doctors job to tell you when you are allowed to push and talk you through it. In this atmosphere, everyone was hand off (except your dad). They let my body give me the signals. It was me and your dad, going through this together under the silent, but watchful eye of our birth team. Due to this sort of "brainwashing" I actually asked the midwife if I was allowed to push, and she just giggled "Of course! Whatever your body is telling you to do!". Pushing was also definitely not like the movies....there was no screaming, no dramatic scrunching of my face or bursting of blood vessels. It was calm, and internal, and relieving. Brianna later told me (during my six week check up) that I had one of her favorite first time mom births, that I embodied the Hypnobirthing practices and truly "breathed my baby out".

I didn't get to feel my water break, which was disappointing, but also really funny for the midwife to say "oh! I think I broke your water!" as she checked to see how close you were coming to making your entrance. She let me know that things were moving slow, and that was fine, but if I was feeling tired that maybe I should get out of the tub and use the birthing stool, that things would pick up speed. So I did! and she was right. The team wrapped me in a warm robe and helped me out of the tub. I don't remember too much detail. Time was interesting when I was in this focused, meditative state. I do know that eventually Brianna grabbed a mirror and was trying to get me to look and see your hair!!! I was too focused and instead said, "Jordan you look!".

Eventually I decided it was time, and laid down, it felt natural to me, it wasn't because the team asked me to lay on my back or make any demands of where I chose to birth. In my hazy mental state, I ended up laying in the middle of the bathroom floor! Just a few more gentle pushes, and you were here!! Your dad so gracefully caught you, with the midwifes hands nearby for support if necessary.

While your daddy and I held you and observed every little inch of you, Brianna said "She is so beautiful!" and it was the first time we really acknowledged that you even had a gender! When we held you it really didn't matter what you were. Just that our baby was here to hold and snuggle. I had spent nine months getting to know you and carry you. Your daddy had felt kicks and knew he loved you, but this was his first chance to get true contact with you, so as soon as your umbilical cord had stopped pulsing (there are many benefits for babies to stay connected to the placenta until the cords pulse has stopped) I told your dad to cut the cord, and I let him hold you and get to know you while the midwife took care of me (When you are older I will give you the details of that bit haha). Your dad and you watched as I birthed the placenta (he is a trooper, girl. Most guys don't want to see it!) and then the team helped me to the queen sized cozy bed where you, your dad, and I snuggled up together to soak up all the sweetness you just brought to the room!

​With a birth center, they only require you to stay for a few hours after birth. So while you and your daddy slept, Chance and Brianna helped me into the shower, brushed my hair, got me dressed and fed me the best smoothie and frittata I had ever had! I curled back up in bed with the two of you and napped. A couple hours later, the team woke us and asked if we wanted to stay longer or to go home, and we opted to take you home, where your grandpa, auntie Drew, and uncle Cannon were headed to finally meet you!

Those first few weeks of your life were total bliss! Your daddy and I really enjoyed that time with you and together as new parents. We all had lots and lots of snuggle time!!
I am very lucky that I did not have Postpartum Disorder, but it is important to note that many mamas do, and may not feel as blissful in those first few months.

Overall I believe that the whole experience was life changing (not just from getting a baby at the end of it all!). I am so grateful that you were healthy and your dad and I were able to have the natural intervention free birth that we had wanted. I think that it made the experience even more sacred. If I can walk away with one message for you from this, it is to make sure that you as an individual are respected, your wishes are respected, and that you research and learn if you decide to have children. Don't let the masses determine your choices, but rather become informed and research. It can manifest into great things.


Photos in this post were taken by Rebecca Walsh from Monet Nicole Birthing Stories. (Monet had just had her own baby a few weeks earlier, so her business partner was on call for our birth!)

I am so grateful for the team at Denver Center for Birth and Wellness. They made my dreams of a natural, relaxing birth come true. Everyone of you holds a special place in my heart. From the day I found out I was pregnant to the day I held my baby, they were there to support me.